When Ridley Scott's 1979 "Alien" hit the scene, it scared the living shit out of people.

Not only is the film unrelentingly suspenseful, it also has one of the most disturbing creature designs of all time--complete with a life cycle that just plain freaks people the fuck out.

It starts with these big leathery eggs that lie dormant until something walks past them. Then, sensing movement, the egg peels open to reveal a nightmarish creepoid sort of resembling a spider meets a trilobite meets Thing from the Addamns Family that jumps out at your face.

The facehugger, as it’s called, then proceeds to wraps its eight bony legs around the back of your head and its long whipping tail around your throat so it can forcibly face fuck you with an extendable cock that protrudes from its vaginal underside. It rapes you. Implanting an alien embryo deep down inside your throat to incubate and grow.

A few hours later the larvae’s matured enough to burst through your chest, hissing and screaming and leaving your detonated body to rot as it runs off into the shadows. There, the freshly born hellspawn matures into its adult form. And when it does, things escalate.

The adult alien is pure evil. It carries no purpose other than to find more hosts for the facehuggers to violently impregnate. Predatory, primal, and parasitic, this motherfucker is all three Ps and not to be messed with.

The alien’s body is protected by a hard, bony and machine-like exoskeleton filled with acid blood. Should you try to shoot one of the bastards, the acid flies all over the place and melts whatever it touches. And with no eyes, big sharp teeth and a second set of snapping jaws shooting out from its throat at the end of yet another cock-like appendage, seeing one on your spaceship is a bad day.

But there are clues as to when the alien’s around. For one, it’s dripping in slime with a clear, sticky goo constantly discharging from its mouth and getting all over the place. And if an actor sees some gunk glopping down from the ceiling or whatever, you know they are f-u-c-k-e-deed.

During filming, the effects crews used buckets of KY to keep the monster oozing and glistening in the low light--and in between takes they’d recoat the terror with a thick layer of gel to keep it nice and soppy. That’s basically how wet this chick gets.

After she comes I pull out whatever's inside her and we stay connected for a good inch and a half. I look like the alien. She's incredible.

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