And that's not even the best part. Whole Foods also gives out free snacks to kids.

If you walk in the main entrance (to the location on Fruitville Pike) you'll see a wagon sitting in front of the customer service desk. Inside the wagon are two wicker baskets. One on the left with some fruit inside--apples, bananas, clementines--and another to the right with individually wrapped treats like granola bars and crackers.

The rules of the ENJOY A FREE SNACK wagon are simple: one kid, one snack. Honor system. Like those houses on Halloween where the homeowner doesn't want to sit on the front porch for a few hours, so they leave a bowl of Tootsie Rolls outside with a PLEASE TAKE ONE sign taped to the bowl as if some kid wants to house fist fulls of a candy that's been waning in popularity since the late 1800s and looks a little bit like human feces.

Except the thing here is that Whole Foods has pretty good snacks. And it's a well-lit public location open during normal business hours. Plus, there're all those folks in the Amazon return line, trailing right alongside the Customer Service desk and watching the whole thing go down because the youngest of the two boys who's three is, while something of a pain, admittedly cute as all get-out.

It's quite the scene, you know, the two of them working out the details of their upcoming score. Since little brother wants to get the same snack as big brother, there’s a bit of haggling that goes on before a final decision is made. These negotiations, led by a three-year-old, tend to be quite loud and can draw attention.

Our last venture ended with the two settling on chocolate chip Clif Bars—-a solid choice by many standards. But just as the three of us were moving on, big brother panicked. Bolting back to the WHOLE KIDS CLUB ENJOY A FREE SNACK wagon, he exchanged his chocolatey treat for the Organic Fruit Flavored Snacks Made with Real Fruit Juice. This presented a problem.

See, little brother's wrapper had already been opened. And, one kid, one snack. He’s fucked. And as the frustration and sadness at this final act of betrayal by a once beloved older brother well up inside him and then release as the mournful wailing of that Judas’ name, he runs off. Deep into the produce section and toward the bananas.

Which is when realize he doesn't have any pants on.

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