He remembered how it all started.

They were at Target to get diapers and toothpaste with a gift card he’d received for his birthday (from the boys’ grandmother). The plan was to stick to the list and avoid the toy section at all costs.

Walking through the automatic double doors and past the storefront display he made a hard left. “This way,” he said, placing his hands on the back of two small heads to either side of him. One being slightly lower and blonder than the other.

As they moved past the registers he felt as though they were traveling against some hidden current. The flow of the store, like a conveyor belt traversing guests past the home goods and clothing aisles into housewares and toys and then cleaning supplies, packaged foods, perishables and personal hygiene items--all before being spit out into a checkout lane lined with inexpensive snacks.

Those gravitational pulls were all around. The boys, running off into the clothing racks but never venturing too far, his own set of orbiting electrons snaking their way through the women’s summer wear, stopping at the occasionally clearing to look over and wave and giggle.

"This way," he said.

As the boys came closer he continued: "Always stay together. That way it's okay if you get lost. I'll find you."

"We'll stay where we are," Finley said. He was the oldest at six.

"Good."

He turned right and the boys followed, continuing along the outer perimeter of the store.

On both sides of the walkway were shelves stretching out to the left and right lined with products. The boys ran along the far side of the aisles to his right. Scanning the shelves, he shopped with purpose, moving quickly and meeting the boys’ eyes at each new opening. They all smiled.

At the next aisle he paused, turned toward them and felt a moment of peace with his two young sons.

That’s when it started. 

It was as if the entire building had been kicked-—hard. Punted like an empty cardboard box. Washing detergents and chemical cleaners blew from the shelves, everything falling in one direction. Shattered fluorescent lights swinging from the invisible force. People screaming.

But he felt nothing.

And looking to the boys, they were standing, staring at him wide-eyed, motionless and afraid.

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