Man Meets Keyboard


Shorts ††

  1. short

  2. underpants9

  3. underpants8

  4. underpants7

  5. underpants6

  6. underpants5

  7. underpants4

  8. underpants3

  9. underpants2

  10. underpants1

  11. soulman

  12. bibliotech

  13. boring

  14. quintana

  15. surfside

  16. flubber

  17. puff

  18. splash

  19. gulf

  20. trompeta

  21. brr

  22. kablooey

  23. amends

  24. misty

  25. basements

  26. domestic

  27. travelin

  28. sunny

  29. dunno

  30. runner

  31. earl

  32. run2

  33. strollin

  34. joke

  35. chat

  36. origins

  37. folk

  38. memoir

  39. headline

  40. run

  41. choregasm

  42. something

  43. insert

  44. blue

  45. dancin

  46. woods

  47. truth

  48. request

  49. pun

  50. duo

  51. pennies

  52. changin

  53. stone

  54. cut2

  55. fallin

  56. hemo

  57. pips

  58. bingo

  59. puppers

  60. magistrate

  61. bram

  62. amigos

  63. fish

  64. appétite

  65. square9

  66. square8

  67. square7

  68. square6

  69. square5

  70. square4

  71. xx

  72. square3

  73. square2

  74. square1

  75. cut

  76. piddle

  77. plans

  78. poem2

  79. familial

  80. event

  81. kin

  82. fellers

  83. trane

  84. dreamin’

  85. acting

  86. impact

  87. moment

  88. poking

  89. slog2

  90. slog1

  91. slurry

  92. pathetic

  93. adieu

  94. privacy

  95. fishist

  96. reassured

  97. alterations

  98. prayer

  99. goodbye

  100. showering

  101. love

  102. scene

  103. toast

  104. miaow

  105. papious

  106. bigdee

  107. carl

  108. squawking

  109. kids2

  110. sauna2

  111. anosmatic

  112. onward

  113. truth

  114. path

  115. vantages

  116. imwuh

  117. reasoning

  118. poem

  119. monster

  120. dena

  121. craved

  122. burnin’

  123. perpet

  124. punctuate

  125. fanciful

  126. rattled

  127. checkup2

  128. expectorate

  129. jugs

  130. vowels

  131. justice

  132. advice

  133. healing

  134. yokel

  135. awake

  136. messy

  137. typical

  138. pussies

  139. quiet

  140. picturesque

  141. promises

  142. mates

  143. carotenosis

  144. signage

  145. seeker

  146. smushell

  147. saturday

  148. intrusive

  149. potential

  150. numbers

  151. squeaky

  152. downregulate

  153. narrative 

  154. backside

  155. ciao

  156. vegetarian

  157. musical

  158. wetlands

  159. napoli

  160. dust

  161. chase

  162. travels

  163. fluorescents

  164. hades

  165. phoneme

  166. october

  167. jazz

  168. orbit

  169. entertainment

  170. moniker

  171. memories

  172. pups

  173. balls

  174. duel

  175. endtimes

  176. business

  177. questions

  178. steinel

  179. morning

  180. xenomorph

  181. meaning

  182. lifting

  183. pigments

  184. mayba

  185. windbreaker

  186. known

  187. natur

  188. nacht

  189. quotes

  190. relationships

  191. groceries

  192. h

  193. professional

  194. abundance

  195. finalized

  196. scanlon

  197. critters

  198. bleak

  199. title

  200. serendipity

  201. colors

  202. checkup

  203. doppelgänger

  204. polychromatic

  205. carefree

  206. happiness

  207. badname

  208. remember

  209. courteous

  210. homonymous

  211. bee

  212. bargain

  213. premature

  214. sprung

  215. babies

  216. cleaning

  217. inspired

  218. game

  219. friends

  220. oopsies

  221. secrets

  222. organ

  223. gatoraid

  224. legos

  225. perform

  226. finley

  227. smaug 

  228. noticed

  229. sauna

  230. gray

  231. strangers

  232. ahead

  233. wrecked

  234. regret

  235. kids

  236. lobotomy

  237. leify

  238. 545


Mark
quintana

Neither of them spoke. In the distance, oil derricks towered above the muddied sea like machinistic leviathans scanning the aquatic fields below. A hazy brown band hung on the horizon, separating the silted water and bluer skies above. Waves crashed into the rocks with a thunderous clap, hissing as they retreated.

Aleph spotted Padre.

He stood alone at the edge of the walkway. A canvas bag slumped on the ground next to him, and two offshore fishing rods grew upright from steel holsters bolted into the concrete. Padre had his back to them, staring off into the gulf through a handheld viewfinder. He jotted some notes in a small notepad and returned his gaze across the water.

Aleph came up and put his hand on Padre’s shoulder. Startled, Padre jerked around. “Holy bejesus!” he said. He examined the pair with a bewildered look. “What the hell are you two doing here? I wasn’t expecting you yet.”

“Expecting us? Look, father, we could use--.”

Padre’s attention was suddenly drawn to one of the rods. Bent down, the line was whizzing out. He moved past Aleph and crouched down to grab the handle. “Give me a hand with this,” he said, adjusted the tension on the reel. He looked up. “C’mon, A-frame, post haste!”

Aleph crouched down next to Padre. “Hold it here,” Padre said. “Tight.” He looked into Aleph’s eyes. “Do not let go.”

Aleph grabbed the rod with both hands just above the butt. The catch was pulling hard, so he pressed his feet into the metal holster and leaned back.

“Son of a bitch is gonna snap the line,” Padre said. He lowered the drag and let the cord run out. The spool zipped and whirred as line disappeared into the silty gulf.

When he noticed the swiveling slowing, Padre flipped the bail and started cranking. “Hold onto that rod,” he said. “I already lost two today… Christ, the fucker’s strong.”

“What is it?”

Padre smiled.

“You’ll see.”

Padre cranked the reel. The rod bent so far down Aleph thought it might snap in half and fling him back onto the cement. He was starting to lose his grip when Padre yelled.

“There it is!”

Spooks and Aleph followed the line into the choppy surf. Just past the rocks something golden and glittering shone just beneath the surface, like a school of tiny gold coins, flipping and reflecting light from countless divots and ridges. Padre reeled the sparkling mass ashore and it slapped against the rocks. Thick and eel-like, fins and jaws like a shark.

He kept cranking.

The line caught a rock and snapped.

Padre abandoned the reel and slid down the rock barricade. Flapping wildly between boulders, the serpent vied for the water, feeling the spray of crashing waves on its glimmering skin and slapping its tail. When Padre scrambled down to it, he slipped, and his leg went near the gnashing mouth, opening and snapping shut with endless rows of teeth.

“Shit!”

Padre yanked his leg back and pushed himself up onto his feet. “Not today, you bastard!” He grabbed the thing by the tail and ripped it up from the rocks.

Padre struggled to keep his balance as he held the thrashing weird thing away from his body. “Fuck!” he said, took an awkward step. “Shit.” He made his way a bit further up the rocks and swung the catch onto the concrete jetty, skittering over the ledge on his hands and feet.

“Keep the dog away from it!”

Spooks backed away, his tail between his legs. Aleph stood and watched imbicilically. Padre cleared the jetty, stood up, and hollared.

“Woo-eee!” he said. “That’ll do.”

He took a pair of work gloves from the canvas tool bag and pulled them over his bleeding hands. “The son of a bitch’s skin is like sandpaper made from diamonds. Shit’ll cut you up good.” He unsheathed a long, thick knife and put it in his back pants pocket. “That’s why we want it.”

The fish was even more brilliant on land. The sunlight bouncing off its faceted skin was blinding as it slapped and gyrated on the jetty, its enormous eyes dull and black. Padre walked behind his golden trophy and dragged it by the tail into the center of the path. He took the knife and sliced deep into the underside of its back fin.

Padre stood up, took a deep breath, and exhaled. The creature bled out silver ooze onto the concrete, each heartbeat emptying it further, a mercury amoeba expanding around the golden body as it twitched and splashed in itself. The black of its eyes shrank to pin dots floating in a lifeless grey.

Aleph and Spooks watched in amazement. Padre spoke. “Well then,” he said with a toothy grin, “why don’t we drag this back into town and see if I can’t help you fellas out.”



Mark

** For Your Reading Pleasure **


Shorts ††

  1. short

  2. underpants9

  3. underpants8

  4. underpants7

  5. underpants6

  6. underpants5

  7. underpants4

  8. underpants3

  9. underpants2

  10. underpants1

  11. soulman

  12. bibliotech

  13. boring

  14. quintana

  15. surfside

  16. flubber

  17. puff

  18. splash

  19. gulf

  20. trompeta

  21. brr

  22. kablooey

  23. amends

  24. misty

  25. basements

  26. domestic

  27. travelin

  28. sunny

  29. dunno

  30. runner

  31. earl

  32. run2

  33. strollin

  34. joke

  35. chat

  36. origins

  37. folk

  38. memoir

  39. headline

  40. run

  41. choregasm

  42. something

  43. insert

  44. blue

  45. dancin

  46. woods

  47. truth

  48. request

  49. pun

  50. duo

  51. pennies

  52. changin

  53. stone

  54. cut2

  55. fallin

  56. hemo

  57. pips

  58. bingo

  59. puppers

  60. magistrate

  61. bram

  62. amigos

  63. fish

  64. appétite

  65. square9

  66. square8

  67. square7

  68. square6

  69. square5

  70. square4

  71. xx

  72. square3

  73. square2

  74. square1

  75. cut

  76. piddle

  77. plans

  78. poem2

  79. familial

  80. event

  81. kin

  82. fellers

  83. trane

  84. dreamin’

  85. acting

  86. impact

  87. moment

  88. poking

  89. slog2

  90. slog1

  91. slurry

  92. pathetic

  93. adieu

  94. privacy

  95. fishist

  96. reassured

  97. alterations

  98. prayer

  99. goodbye

  100. showering

  101. love

  102. scene

  103. toast

  104. miaow

  105. papious

  106. bigdee

  107. carl

  108. squawking

  109. kids2

  110. sauna2

  111. anosmatic

  112. onward

  113. truth

  114. path

  115. vantages

  116. imwuh

  117. reasoning

  118. poem

  119. monster

  120. dena

  121. craved

  122. burnin’

  123. perpet

  124. punctuate

  125. fanciful

  126. rattled

  127. checkup2

  128. expectorate

  129. jugs

  130. vowels

  131. justice

  132. advice

  133. healing

  134. yokel

  135. awake

  136. messy

  137. typical

  138. pussies

  139. quiet

  140. picturesque

  141. promises

  142. mates

  143. carotenosis

  144. signage

  145. seeker

  146. smushell

  147. saturday

  148. intrusive

  149. potential

  150. numbers

  151. squeaky

  152. downregulate

  153. narrative 

  154. backside

  155. ciao

  156. vegetarian

  157. musical

  158. wetlands

  159. napoli

  160. dust

  161. chase

  162. travels

  163. fluorescents

  164. hades

  165. phoneme

  166. october

  167. jazz

  168. orbit

  169. entertainment

  170. moniker

  171. memories

  172. pups

  173. balls

  174. duel

  175. endtimes

  176. business

  177. questions

  178. steinel

  179. morning

  180. xenomorph

  181. meaning

  182. lifting

  183. pigments

  184. mayba

  185. windbreaker

  186. known

  187. natur

  188. nacht

  189. quotes

  190. relationships

  191. groceries

  192. h

  193. professional

  194. abundance

  195. finalized

  196. scanlon

  197. critters

  198. bleak

  199. title

  200. serendipity

  201. colors

  202. checkup

  203. doppelgänger

  204. polychromatic

  205. carefree

  206. happiness

  207. badname

  208. remember

  209. courteous

  210. homonymous

  211. bee

  212. bargain

  213. premature

  214. sprung

  215. babies

  216. cleaning

  217. inspired

  218. game

  219. friends

  220. oopsies

  221. secrets

  222. organ

  223. gatoraid

  224. legos

  225. perform

  226. finley

  227. smaug 

  228. noticed

  229. sauna

  230. gray

  231. strangers

  232. ahead

  233. wrecked

  234. regret

  235. kids

  236. lobotomy

  237. leify

  238. 545


Mark