I started lifting weights when I was 16 years old. My buddy Jered got me into it and I thought if I got all ripped girls would like me. What I didn't realize at the time was that girls already liked me and no amount of six pack was going to settle my fear of rejection or insecurities about my penis.

That was over twenty years ago and I'm still at it today. (The lifting, less of the other stuff.) A typical session lasts around 40 minutes and I like to hit everything with compound movements like squats and deadlifts and pull ups and bench or dips. I also mix in handstands because I think they’re cool.

When I workout I don't listen to music (unless I'm running--and then only sometimes) and I don't particularly like to chit-chat. Music can get you pumped up, but after a while I think it kind of numbs you out. And since a big part of exercise--for me--is refreshing mentally, I just stay quiet and pick things up and put ‘em back down and walk around some wash rinse repeat until it feels like all my stuff is getting kind of tired but there's still something left in the tank. That’s when I stop.

I’ve never been competitive about it and don’t care too much about lifting super heavy or having giant muscles or anything. There’s definitely a vanity aspect, but it's more like a long-game thing. I want people to wonder how I’m in such good shape when I’m fucking old. So I practice form, flexibility and moderation (at least in this arena) and while I often feel low energy, on the outside it probably looks like the opposite ‘cause I just keep it movin’.

I've also saunaed consistently over the years and love the heat. The gym I learned to lift in had a steam room and on school days I’d head over early in the morning and get high in the parking lot before sweating my balls off and then masturbating in a shower stall. It was a hell of a way for a 17 year old to start the day, but I couldn't stay awake for shit during my classes.

Since then I’ve preferred dry saunas. They’re easier to find. The YMCA has one and it's a five minute walk from my house. Sitting in there you hear all sorts of things, including but not limited to the benefits of saunaing. The newbs and even some of the old-timers like to spout off facts and figures, but I don’t know too much about all that. I just like it.

So I lift weights and sit or lay in the sauna before taking a cold shower and stretching in front of the big industrial fan on the Y pool deck until I’m dry. And apart from a quick cold rinse each morning and brushing my teeth once a day that's basically it for my hygiene routine. No soap. Just fruits and veggies and sweating and cold water. I haven’t gotten any complaints so I guess it’s working pretty good.

Anyways, there you have it. Lifting. And saunaing. And cold showers and stretching and air drying and walking and biking and running. And since the most any of it can come to is nothing, I just stick to what I enjoy while being intelligent about it. I’d say it’s mostly just about doing it and feeling a certain way in my body.

Which stands in stark contrast to Sarah’s likely well-intentioned but still hyper-judgmental and cynical image of the gym being filled with nothing but people torturing themselves to look a certain way.

But I’m thinking that’s a her problem. <3

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