Man Meets Keyboard


Shorts ††

  1. short

  2. underpants9

  3. underpants8

  4. underpants7

  5. underpants6

  6. underpants5

  7. underpants4

  8. underpants3

  9. underpants2

  10. underpants1

  11. soulman

  12. bibliotech

  13. boring

  14. quintana

  15. surfside

  16. flubber

  17. puff

  18. splash

  19. gulf

  20. trompeta

  21. brr

  22. kablooey

  23. amends

  24. misty

  25. basements

  26. domestic

  27. travelin

  28. sunny

  29. dunno

  30. runner

  31. earl

  32. run2

  33. strollin

  34. joke

  35. chat

  36. origins

  37. folk

  38. memoir

  39. headline

  40. run

  41. choregasm

  42. something

  43. insert

  44. blue

  45. dancin

  46. woods

  47. truth

  48. request

  49. pun

  50. duo

  51. pennies

  52. changin

  53. stone

  54. cut2

  55. fallin

  56. hemo

  57. pips

  58. bingo

  59. puppers

  60. magistrate

  61. bram

  62. amigos

  63. fish

  64. appétite

  65. square9

  66. square8

  67. square7

  68. square6

  69. square5

  70. square4

  71. xx

  72. square3

  73. square2

  74. square1

  75. cut

  76. piddle

  77. plans

  78. poem2

  79. familial

  80. event

  81. kin

  82. fellers

  83. trane

  84. dreamin’

  85. acting

  86. impact

  87. moment

  88. poking

  89. slog2

  90. slog1

  91. slurry

  92. pathetic

  93. adieu

  94. privacy

  95. fishist

  96. reassured

  97. alterations

  98. prayer

  99. goodbye

  100. showering

  101. love

  102. scene

  103. toast

  104. miaow

  105. papious

  106. bigdee

  107. carl

  108. squawking

  109. kids2

  110. sauna2

  111. anosmatic

  112. onward

  113. truth

  114. path

  115. vantages

  116. imwuh

  117. reasoning

  118. poem

  119. monster

  120. dena

  121. craved

  122. burnin’

  123. perpet

  124. punctuate

  125. fanciful

  126. rattled

  127. checkup2

  128. expectorate

  129. jugs

  130. vowels

  131. justice

  132. advice

  133. healing

  134. yokel

  135. awake

  136. messy

  137. typical

  138. pussies

  139. quiet

  140. picturesque

  141. promises

  142. mates

  143. carotenosis

  144. signage

  145. seeker

  146. smushell

  147. saturday

  148. intrusive

  149. potential

  150. numbers

  151. squeaky

  152. downregulate

  153. narrative 

  154. backside

  155. ciao

  156. vegetarian

  157. musical

  158. wetlands

  159. napoli

  160. dust

  161. chase

  162. travels

  163. fluorescents

  164. hades

  165. phoneme

  166. october

  167. jazz

  168. orbit

  169. entertainment

  170. moniker

  171. memories

  172. pups

  173. balls

  174. duel

  175. endtimes

  176. business

  177. questions

  178. steinel

  179. morning

  180. xenomorph

  181. meaning

  182. lifting

  183. pigments

  184. mayba

  185. windbreaker

  186. known

  187. natur

  188. nacht

  189. quotes

  190. relationships

  191. groceries

  192. h

  193. professional

  194. abundance

  195. finalized

  196. scanlon

  197. critters

  198. bleak

  199. title

  200. serendipity

  201. colors

  202. checkup

  203. doppelgänger

  204. polychromatic

  205. carefree

  206. happiness

  207. badname

  208. remember

  209. courteous

  210. homonymous

  211. bee

  212. bargain

  213. premature

  214. sprung

  215. babies

  216. cleaning

  217. inspired

  218. game

  219. friends

  220. oopsies

  221. secrets

  222. organ

  223. gatoraid

  224. legos

  225. perform

  226. finley

  227. smaug 

  228. noticed

  229. sauna

  230. gray

  231. strangers

  232. ahead

  233. wrecked

  234. regret

  235. kids

  236. lobotomy

  237. leify

  238. 545


Mark
kablooey

They were almost at the gulf when Atef turned the car into the parking lot of Harris Teeter. He wanted to get to the beach before they found trouble, but considering they hadn’t consumed anything but beer and weed and smokes since early the night before, he thought it a good idea to stock up before passing out.

Pulling into a spot, he turned off the ignition. The engine shuddered to a standstill. Spooks, at the changing rhythm of the automobile, lifted his head from the center console, his eyes bloodshot and barely open.

“Wait here,” said Atef. “I’ll be right back.”

Atef got out of the car and stepped into the morning sun. His legs wobbled after having driven through the night. It was still early, but the sun was white and blinding. He grabbed a nearby cart and pushed it into the store. It shook and rattled as the hard wheels traversed the sun-bleached asphalt.

In the store, Atef made haste. Four gallon jugs of distilled water into the cart. A bag of oranges. A handful of premade sandwiches. Kibble from the pet aisle. At the register, he threw some gum on the counter and asked for a pack of cigarettes. He kept his eyes down, paid, and went back outside.

When the store’s sliding-door airlock opened, Atef tasted the salt air. The sun was warm on his face and arms. A thick rope clanged metallically against a flag pole; there was a seagull eating what looked like rotting meat on the ground. He noticed how filthy the lot was--—stained and with a dried reddish muck all over the place.

Back at the car, Atef threw the food into the backseat and chugged from one of the jugs. After he was full, he dumped some in a cup for Spooks.

“Spooks.”

Spooks didn’t move.

“Spooks.” He shook him. “Wake up.”

“What?”

“Drink this.”

“I don’t want any.”

“Drink it and you can go back to sleep.”

Spooks moaned and curled up tighter.

“C’mon. Get up.” He shook him harder.

“Alright, alright.” Spooks sat up and stretched in the seat. “God I feel like shit. What the fuck did those spades give us last night?” He shook his head. “That’s the last time I hangout with the wait staff.”

He lapped the water from the cup. When he finished it, Atef filled it again. Then: “I need to piss.”

Atef walked Spooks to a grass median at the edge of the parking lot. There was a woman unbuckling a young child from the back of a small SUV, and she looked over dissaprovingly as Spooks lifted a hind leg to a light post and released a long, dark urination. Atef gave the woman a subdued waved. He thought one of the seagulls heckled him and started laughing.

Back in the car, Spooks asked “Where are we?”

“Angleton. We’ll be there in about 25 minutes. You ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

Atef lit a cigarette and turned the ignition. He put the car in reverse and backed up wide into the mostly empty lot. The rear bumper crunched into a curb and went over it with the back passenger’s side tire. Pay attention, he thought. This isn’t the time for a fender bender.

Atef put the car in drive and pulled forward. He noticed an attractive young woman exiting the Harris Teeter and pushing a short, upright cart down the sidewalk ramp. The cart was filled to the brim. So was her neckline. Atef watched her walk down the sidewalk as the car continued to roll forward.

Suddenly, a wheel from the woman’s cart snagged on a crack in the cement and tipped forward. She looked shocked as the bagged groceries began to spill out. Atef craned his head out the passenger side window to get a better look. Spooks barked.

Lookout!

Atef brought his gaze forward and saw a young girl had darted out in front of the car. Someone screamed and he slammed on the brakes as fast he could. They felt a sickening thud.

What happened next can’t be explained. The car was only traveling a few miles per hour, but on contact with the fender, the child burst like a waterballoon, spraying a chunky chum all over the hood and front windshield.

Atef was in shock. Spooks was losing his shit in the passenger’s seat. A woman screamed, “Nooo!”. Atef looked over and saw her fall to her knees, wailing. She was holding a baby.

Atef got out of the car and threw his cigarette on the ground. He couldn’t speak. The woman cried, “No, no, no!” She looked at Atef like a feral animal. He stood in disbelief and watched as her fear and pain transformed into wild rage. She started screaming at him in a hysterical frenzy, in a language he could not understand. Other shoppers had taken notice and were moving toward the car. A man approached the vehicle but paid no attention to Atef or the sobbing woman. He started licking the windshield. And then another man did the same. And more were coming.

“What the fuck is happening?” said Spooks. “We need to go!”

Atef jumped back into the car. He slammed the door shut and put his foot on the gas. The car peeled out and the two men licking the windshield fell to the side. One hit the pavement and splashed like a bucket of oozing, pulpy water. Atef turned on the wipers and what was left of the girl smeared across the windshield in a grimy mess. He turned the window crank and put his head out the driver’s side window.

Spooks was panicking. His lungs, bellows, automatically pumping in and out. Atef whipped onto the main drag. Eventually Spooks curled up and settled into a low whimper.



Mark

** For Your Reading Pleasure **


Shorts ††

  1. short

  2. underpants9

  3. underpants8

  4. underpants7

  5. underpants6

  6. underpants5

  7. underpants4

  8. underpants3

  9. underpants2

  10. underpants1

  11. soulman

  12. bibliotech

  13. boring

  14. quintana

  15. surfside

  16. flubber

  17. puff

  18. splash

  19. gulf

  20. trompeta

  21. brr

  22. kablooey

  23. amends

  24. misty

  25. basements

  26. domestic

  27. travelin

  28. sunny

  29. dunno

  30. runner

  31. earl

  32. run2

  33. strollin

  34. joke

  35. chat

  36. origins

  37. folk

  38. memoir

  39. headline

  40. run

  41. choregasm

  42. something

  43. insert

  44. blue

  45. dancin

  46. woods

  47. truth

  48. request

  49. pun

  50. duo

  51. pennies

  52. changin

  53. stone

  54. cut2

  55. fallin

  56. hemo

  57. pips

  58. bingo

  59. puppers

  60. magistrate

  61. bram

  62. amigos

  63. fish

  64. appétite

  65. square9

  66. square8

  67. square7

  68. square6

  69. square5

  70. square4

  71. xx

  72. square3

  73. square2

  74. square1

  75. cut

  76. piddle

  77. plans

  78. poem2

  79. familial

  80. event

  81. kin

  82. fellers

  83. trane

  84. dreamin’

  85. acting

  86. impact

  87. moment

  88. poking

  89. slog2

  90. slog1

  91. slurry

  92. pathetic

  93. adieu

  94. privacy

  95. fishist

  96. reassured

  97. alterations

  98. prayer

  99. goodbye

  100. showering

  101. love

  102. scene

  103. toast

  104. miaow

  105. papious

  106. bigdee

  107. carl

  108. squawking

  109. kids2

  110. sauna2

  111. anosmatic

  112. onward

  113. truth

  114. path

  115. vantages

  116. imwuh

  117. reasoning

  118. poem

  119. monster

  120. dena

  121. craved

  122. burnin’

  123. perpet

  124. punctuate

  125. fanciful

  126. rattled

  127. checkup2

  128. expectorate

  129. jugs

  130. vowels

  131. justice

  132. advice

  133. healing

  134. yokel

  135. awake

  136. messy

  137. typical

  138. pussies

  139. quiet

  140. picturesque

  141. promises

  142. mates

  143. carotenosis

  144. signage

  145. seeker

  146. smushell

  147. saturday

  148. intrusive

  149. potential

  150. numbers

  151. squeaky

  152. downregulate

  153. narrative 

  154. backside

  155. ciao

  156. vegetarian

  157. musical

  158. wetlands

  159. napoli

  160. dust

  161. chase

  162. travels

  163. fluorescents

  164. hades

  165. phoneme

  166. october

  167. jazz

  168. orbit

  169. entertainment

  170. moniker

  171. memories

  172. pups

  173. balls

  174. duel

  175. endtimes

  176. business

  177. questions

  178. steinel

  179. morning

  180. xenomorph

  181. meaning

  182. lifting

  183. pigments

  184. mayba

  185. windbreaker

  186. known

  187. natur

  188. nacht

  189. quotes

  190. relationships

  191. groceries

  192. h

  193. professional

  194. abundance

  195. finalized

  196. scanlon

  197. critters

  198. bleak

  199. title

  200. serendipity

  201. colors

  202. checkup

  203. doppelgänger

  204. polychromatic

  205. carefree

  206. happiness

  207. badname

  208. remember

  209. courteous

  210. homonymous

  211. bee

  212. bargain

  213. premature

  214. sprung

  215. babies

  216. cleaning

  217. inspired

  218. game

  219. friends

  220. oopsies

  221. secrets

  222. organ

  223. gatoraid

  224. legos

  225. perform

  226. finley

  227. smaug 

  228. noticed

  229. sauna

  230. gray

  231. strangers

  232. ahead

  233. wrecked

  234. regret

  235. kids

  236. lobotomy

  237. leify

  238. 545


Mark