The Inner Guidance of Commitment, Consistency, and the Self-Image

Howdy reader,

I'm sitting here at the Prince St Cafe in downtown Lancaster City, PA putting the final touches on this article and wanted to reach out. I've got myself a seat tucked away in the back corner of the room (adjacent to the front entrance) with a speaker mounted just above my head pumping out some sweet jams. Business seems pretty slow - just a few folks having dinner. It'd be great to see you here sometime.

Now, the reason I'm writing you is to share some interesting tidbits from a recent reread of Robert Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. It's one of those books that pops up on a lot of recommended reading lists and something I first discovered back in graduate school. The subject matter outlines a handful of innate psychological tendencies which are often leveraged to make a buck or coax compliance in one way or another.

While the entire book is damned interesting (and highly recommended if you're into that sort of thing), this paper focuses on some of the information from a chapter dealing with a subject I find endlessly fascinating: the self-image, and in particular, how your perceived sense of self directs your thoughts, actions, and what you ultimately get out of life.

This concept of the self-image shaping your reality is something that has been written on many times and in many ways. And as you explore Cialdini's angle, I encourage you to search for evidence of this force playing out in your own life. In doing so, it’s assured you’ll discover new and creative ways to improve your lot, help others, and ultimately wield that power for good.

Thank you for your attention, enjoy the read, and hold onto your butts.

James Blackwell

[Wednesday, 18:08, 27 July 2022]

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Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

The big idea behind Cialdini's Influence is that humans have evolved a series of underlying social programs which help us work together and survive as a species. These programs are kind of like the unspoken 'rules' of being human – follow the rules and you'll do pretty good.

Fortunately, following the rules is easy; they're hardwired into your very existence. And handed down through eons of natural selection, they hum along below the surface making it so that – generally speaking – you can live your life without a lick of thought as to what you're doing or why you're doing it.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is ...

Can I get a 'Hell yeah!'

Now, it's just the automatic nature of your neural programming that makes it both so effective and also very difficult to overcome. While this is mostly a good thing (it’s helped us navigate and survive the perils of life together as a species†) it does present some problems: most notably that you're vulnerable to making mistakes and being manipulated by others.

According to Cialdini, there are six main psychological programs that, when leveraged, are extremely effective at getting us to do all sorts of crap we might not otherwise consider:

1. reciprocity (the tendency/need to return favors and concessions)
   
   
2. commitment and consistency (acting in accordance with your past)
   
   
3. social proof (doing things you see other people doing)
   
   
4. authority (trusting authority figures ... and people dressed like them^‡)
   
   
5. liking (we are more easily persuaded by those we like)
   
   
6. and scarcity (if it's limited, we want it now^§)
   

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† And look at how far we've come. In the old days, our ancestors (tired from the week's hunting and gathering) spent Saturday night scratching stick figures into cave walls. These days, thanks to the right people breeding, we can chill on the couch with our bestie, mug of sangria in hand, and judge the shit out of the women on 'The Bachelor' – all well fed and content^¥.

‡ This one time, at the GRAMMY Awards (*ahem*), my buddy (tux-donned and standing handsomely upright in the aisle) was thought to be an usher. Someone came over, asked him where their seat was, and handed him a wad of cash. Then, another person did the same – and then another. Between his authoritative deportment and the lemming effect, he must have made, like, ten bucks or something.

§ Just the other day I got an email from a tea supplier alerting me that a high-grade seasonal tea was temporarily back in stock until sold out (real primo shit). I signed up to be notified the year before. You bet your ass I dropped $50 on the spot. (And now that I think about it, I should probably order some more before they run out. Here – hold my tea.)

¥ It's toxic as hell.

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Maintaining a Consistent Image for a Better Dating Life

Cialdini's angle on the self-image is that we have evolved a set of internal buffers that keep our behavior inline with our past sense of self. This seems to have both social and individual advantages.

From a social standpoint, consistency in what you say and do makes you easier to get along with. When you're consistent, you seem kind of smart, right? You're dependable. Stable. Trustworthy. People know what they're getting and it makes you a little easier to hang out with^†.

Inconsistency, on the other hand, can be somewhat disconcerting. Say you meet someone and they're going on and on about how much they love animals: 'They're so cute. And fuzzy. I love them SO MUCH and would never do anything to hurt them. THEY'RE ADORBS!'

Then, they turn around and bite their pet gerbil's head off.

WTF?!

You might start to think that person is ... seriously confused. Definitely a little scary. And I don't think anyone would blame you for not wanting to hang out with them anymore.

Okay, okay. Psychotic exaggerations aside, flaky, indecisive, two-faced, and wishy-washy behavior isn't generally considered attractive. It seems people like a tad more predictability within their group of friends‡. And besides, nobody wants to look foolish by later changing their mind.

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† But just a little.

‡ Incidentally, this may be the hardest thing about hanging out with young children. You never know what those little whackos are going to do.

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Consistent Behavior Helps You Make it Out the Front Door, Too

Along with making you more popular amongst your peers, behaving consistently with your past actions also makes life a lot easier – mainly by eliminating the need to think^†.

Without this inner compass, you'd have to grind your gears considering ... well, everything. Can you imagine that? A detailed, multi model decision making process (we're talking risk analysis, pros and cons lists, the whole shebang) for everything from which shoe to put on first to whether or not it's time to rewatch Downton Abbey ... (again).

So, instead of immobilizing yourself psychoanalyzing every little interaction with the outside world^‡, your established experience guides you through the waters of daily living. That way, you can just sit back, relax, and do your thang^§.

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† Cause, like, thinking is hard, ya know?

‡ Save that shit for your therapist, would ya?

§ Like Bon Jovi said, 'Like Frankie said, "I did it my way."'

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Studies Show: A Commitment to Your Past May Prevent Growing Pains

Along with making life a heck of a lot simpler (and more fun), following the blind guidance of your inner self also acts as a kind of self-protective defense mechanism against some very troubling realizations - things like, oh, I don't know, the fact that you might be wrong.

On that front, Cialdini relates an experience he and a colleague shared while attending an introductory Transcendental Meditation seminar aimed at selling tickets to a later workshop retreat. His colleague, apparently unable to handle what he was hearing, calmly raised his hand and (when called upon) proceeded to rip the presenters' sales pitch a logical new one.

Can you say ...

Awkward?

However, after this uncomfortable display, something strange happened: the customers in attendance became more eager to make a down payment. When later asked why, a few of those attendees shared that the man's arguments were making them uneasy. They had come to the seminar with problems that needed solutions. And they simply could not risk having their minds changed (Cialdini 61-63).

Think about that for a second. If even a whiff of plain-old doubt is enough to get folks to cough up the dosh for a program they have a growing suspicion is a total load, imagine the lengths they'll go to avoid the psychological stress having their entire identity brought into question.

Referred to as cognitive dissonance, this wholly unpleasant state is the one you experience when your actions, beliefs, feelings and values clash with new and contradictory information. Suddenly, you don't know who you are or what you know. It's uncomfortable as hell and the kind of thing you'll want to resolve ASAP.

In fact, cognitive dissonance can be so disconcerting, humans mostly just avoid it altogether. And considering that 'what you think you know' is barely a drop in the ocean of existence, you simply can't let yourself go there. Not all the time, anyways. You'd lose your shit.

However, you're smart. And as such, there will be times when you allow yourself to be challenged. But when you do – be careful. Because cognitive dissonance is like a ticking time bomb in your brain – and one that needs to be diffused as quickly as possible if you're interested in returning to a state of ignorant bliss.

The good news is that the human mind comes equipped with a whole arsenal of self-serving biases for doing just that^†. And when confronted with cognitive dissonance, you basically have two options: admit ignorance and modify your beliefs until the world is right again – or – enlist the help of the confirmation bias, seek further self-supporting evidence, straight-up avoid conflicting information at all costs, and in the process bury your doubts under a veritable mountain of post-rationalizations that are consistent with your old beliefs.

Then, you're right back on track thinking you're better and smarter than you really are and can sleep like a baby again^‡.

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† If you're looking for something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, check out Wikipedia's list of cognitive biases. Not so smart now, huh James^§?

‡ A baby sheep.

§ Wait, what?

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The Potential Side Effects of Consistency May Include ...

Now, while an addiction to your past sense of self does have its merits - it helps others feel comfortable around you while also protecting you from the disturbing realizations that may come with deep self-reflection – you do lose some flexibility. And at times, this may cost you.

For example, narrow-minded decision making may be one such cost^†. The potential for long-term self-destructive behavior and lingering effects of traumatic experience are others. Repeating your past may also lead to occasional regret, leaving you to walk the lonely road of disappointment that comes from missing out on something (or someone) truly special^‡.

Plus, it makes you exploitable.

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† This, in my small and feeble mind, seems to be a problem with stoutly identifying as any kind of -ist, -an, -at, or –ian (looking at you, librarians).

‡ Like the woman I bumped into who had dumped me a few months prior. I don't know how she can live with that. Oh, and after I offered up some silly banter (all in good jest, of course) she replied by saying, 'see, this is why we didn't work out^§.'

§ Quoth the raven, 'Self-protective post-rationalization!'

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Environment: The Looking Glass of the Self-Image

OK my friend, with the evolutionary perspective of the self-image behind you (along with a few of its pros and cons), you're now getting into the meat and potatoes of this whole persuasion bit. So pay attention, because you're about to learn how to avoid getting sucked into some bullshit you don't really want to do.

The first step is realizing that you are – at least in part – mindlessly floating through life along the lazy river of your previous self-image. And as such, you will naturally behave in ways that support that identity. Therefore, if you learn to mold the self-image, you can change the behaviors that effortlessly flow from that internal program.

But first, what is the self-image?

And for that matter ...

Who are we?

Look, Jackie Chan, I'm gonna be real with you, bro – I don't know what the self-image is. To me it just kind of seems like who you think you are. Or some unknowable cosmic force that directs your entire experience of consciousness. And if you start thinking about it too much, the shit gets deep real quick.

However, the good news for you, fair reader, is that there are far more practical descriptions to be found on the internet. And to share one such source, here's how Wikipedia describes the self-image in its opening statement on the subject (yeah, we're going there):

'Self-image is the mental picture, generally of a kind that is quite resistant to change, that depicts not only details that are potentially available to an objective investigation by others (height, weight, hair color, etc.), but also items that have been learned by persons about themselves, either from personal experiences or by internalizing the judgments of others.'

Now, while Wikipedia basically nailed it with a nuts-and-bolts description of the self-image, here's a slightly more poetic take shared from one of my personal favorites, James Allen's 1903 publication As A Man Thinketh (and please pardon all the 'man' business):

'THE aphorism, "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he," not only embraces the whole of a man's being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.'

Allen goes on further to say that:

'Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a man's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state ...

... The outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought, and both pleasant and unpleasant external conditions are factors, which make for the ultimate good of the individual. As the reaper of his own harvest, man learns both by suffering and bliss.'

What Mr. Allen and the anonymous editors of Wikipedia are saying is that the self-image is how you think. It's your psychology. You then act in accordance with that psychology in the things you say and do. And as you act, your environment and circumstances shape to those actions, reflecting that character back to you. This creates a kind of feedback loop that then further influences your psychology and strengthens the commitment to that existing sense of self.

Since it is so difficult to objectively view yourself, you gain a more realistic sense of who you are by looking to the things you do and the responses you get from your environment^†. However, this is a double-edged sword. Because as that external feedback reinforces your identity, the inner pull for consistency drives you to act in accordance with not only your past actions, but also the opinions that others hold of you.

For example, studies show that if someone hears they are considered more charitable, they will give away more of their money over their lifetime (Cialdini 77). Likewise, the well-researched 'Pygmalion Effect' demonstrates that a teacher's expectations of a student have a stark effect on that student's future academic success – even if those expectations were fed to them by a third party and completely at random¹.

Ultimately, it seems to boil down to the fact that we pick up on the subtleties of what we're getting from the world, internalize that feedback, behave accordingly, and then further reinforce those character traits as a part of the way that we see ourselves.

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† Apparently, if you and five of your closest family/friends write descriptions of you, theirs will all be very similar. Yours, however, may be way off base. Who's right? Wrap your mind around that for a second.

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Compliance Tactics That Leverage the Inner Drive for Consistency

Since to a large degree you look to your actions and environment to learn about yourself, the key to molding a self-image is doing things. Therefore, in the world of influence, it's the persuader's gig to get you to commit to some action or decision that ultimately leads to compliance.

The key to successfully pulling this off is baby steps. And if the initial concession is small enough to agree to (and aligned with the persuader's end goal), you'll be more willing to comply with their later requests not because they want you to, but because you want to^†.

With that in mind, check out the compliance tactics listed below. Notice that each starts with a small personal commitment. Then, the desire to behave consistently with that image or stance takes care of the business end of the deal^‡.

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† Devious!

‡ I believe this is called 'putting your money where your mouth is.'

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Hand-Written and Verbal Commitments:

• Asking someone to keep an eye on your belongings while you step away is enough inspire a veritable 'citizens-arrest' vigilantism in your fellow human. When asked to keep an eye out, nineteen out of twenty onlookers chased down a researcher posing as a thief who ran by and snatched the personal affects they were asked to watch. Of twenty other individuals not asked to monitor the belongings, only four were willing to put themselves in potential harm's way (Cialdini 59-60).
  
  
• A charity collection agency was able to increase the number of door-to-door collection volunteers by 700% simply by visiting the residents a few day prior and asking them to predict what they would say if asked to do that very thing (Cialdini 67-68)^†.
  
  
• By being asked 'how are you doing/feeling' at the start of a conversation (to which most people will reply with some form of 'good'), individuals became much more willing to donate to a charitable cause or entertain a salesperson directly afterward. It appears that after admitting to their favored circumstances, those questioned didn't want to look like a bunch of selfish assholes (Cialdini 68-69)^‡.
  
  
• When California residents were asked to put a huge (and somewhat hideous) billboard in their front lawns warning against the dangers of unsafe driving, 83% declined. However, in another test, if the residents had agreed to display a 3-inch card with the same message a few weeks prior, a full 76% later agreed to the billboard (Cialdini 72-73).
  
  
• Continued from above, simply getting another group to sign a petition for a seemingly unrelated cause – state beautification – raised compliance for the later billboard request to approximately 50%. The theory is that these individuals now saw themselves as being 'civic-minded' and had a reputation to uphold (Cialdini 73-74)^§.
  
  
• From my own experience volunteering for a local composting co-op, I was having little success getting passersby to take an interest in the co-op's services. Some even replied with, 'I compost at home' as they briskly moved on by. However, once I started asking people if they were 'interested in composting' things changed. If the word 'yes' popped out of their mouth, they'd stay and chat for awhile, sign up for the email list, and even seemed excited to spread the word.
  

Internal Decisions/Commitments:

• Called 'throwing the low-ball,' a prospect is offered an appealing deal, say, $400 bucks off the price of a car. Thinking that sounds pretty good, the would-be buyer starts to convince themselves of the merits of the vehicle: 'Hey, Ma! It's got air conditioning and everything!' Unfortunately, an error is later discovered making the $400 discount impossible (oops). But not to worry, because by this point the buyer has thoroughly convinced themselves to purchase the car. And besides, what's another $400 bucks, anyways? (Cialdini 98-99)
  

Foot-in-the-Door Technique:

• If you can get someone to commit to your cheapest product or service, they begin to 'see themselves' as your customer. And that's good (Cialdini 71-72).
  

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† Next time you need to move, maybe have someone ask your friends to ‘predict what they would say if another friend asked them to move.' Sneaky! (This might also work for reconnecting with past lovers.)

‡ Or avaricious misers hoarding all of their money for limited edition first-of-season green teas.

§ To themselves, it seems.

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The Self-Centered Beginnings of Positive Communal Change

Now that you're aware of the power of the self-image and how it can be molded for the purposes of compliance, it's time to share with you my favorite case study from Influence – one where researchers were looking for ways to reduce energy consumption amongst a selected group of Iowa residents.

To do this, the experimenters did not preach environmental concerns or the horrors of international war. They didn't even bring up the fact that the residents would be saving money. Instead, they told them that if they could cut their energy consumption over the next thirty days, they'd feature them in the local newspaper^†.

The study first took place during the winter months when the selected residents used natural gas to heat their homes. By the next billing period, the researches were pleased to find that that these fine folks had reduced their fuel consumption by an average of 12.2%. However, there was also some bad news. It was no longer possible to advertise their environmentally-conscious behavior in the local paper (sorry, folks).

But that was only the beginning. The researchers were also curious to see what would happen once the residents' shot at the limelight had been removed. So, a month later, they checked back and discovered something extraordinary: the following month these people had saved even more gas – a full 15.5% reduction from original levels.

The experiment was later repeated during the summer months when residents cooled their homes with electric air conditioning. After the first month (and promise of publicity), the selected residents used an average of 27.8% less electricity than comparable homes in the area. The following month (once their newspaper dreams had been crushed), that number increased to a whopping 41.6% reduction.

In explaining these findings, it's possible that over the course of those initial thirty days these fine Iowans became the kind of people that conserve energy. Perhaps they even began to see themselves as being more ecologically-minded and globally responsible. Plus, they were saving a few bucks along the way. It probably felt good, ya know?

But what's even more interesting to consider is Cialdini's theory: that the original social incentive may have been the only thing holding the Iowans back from knowing that they were doing it for all the right reasons. And with that social validation removed, they were free to fully embrace and embody their new conservationist identity.

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† No judgment here. I once donated to a university radio station because they were announcing the names of donors all afternoon on the air. When I called in to give them my credit-card information, the woman on the line asked if I wanted my name announced on the radio. My reply? 'Yes. Please.'

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How You Can Save the World

I think this case study points out something important to consider for those of you interested in social change: when it comes to shifting the collective consciousness, a person's original motivations may be irrelevant. For starters, the basic compliance is what creates the initial positive shift. And beyond that, it's the 'going through with it' that ultimately leads to the evolution of the self and collective identity.

With that in mind, why not appeal to people's deeper motivations when working to make the world a better place? (Things like wanting to look good, getting laid, feeling worthy of love, and fitting in.) Who cares if it's shameless self-promotion that gets the ball rolling on a self-image that cares about the environment? Especially when those initial motivations can eventually fade away as a new identity forms.

In your own life, continue to explore yourself and the patterns that play out while you go about your business. When you find something that holds you back, challenge those beliefs and create small behavioral changes that point you in a better direction. Make it something that you can commit to and follow through with over time. Then, the inner drive for remaining consistent with that budding self-image will handle the rest.

Likewise, when working to heal your community, find playful motivations that leverage our silly human ways. Get people to act. Bring them along for the fun. See them as good and they will do good. Validate the behaviors you appreciate in them and before you know it, we'll all be working to help one another just because that's the kind of cats we are.

With that, my friend, I will say farewell. Thank you for reading and know that I appreciate you. In a quiet moment, consider the self-image and what that means to you. I believe that by seeking this guiding force you will discover a store of power within you that you may use to heal, grow, and maybe even mold a few self-images for the better along the way^†.

Your man behind the keyboard,

James

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† And oh yeah, you probably shouldn't sign anything (ever), believe everything a car salesperson says, or agree to something that you don't want to do just because you're feeling 'pretty good' that day.

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References

Cialdini, Robert. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. New York: Quill, 1993.

1. Rosenthal, R, and L. Jacobsen. Pygmalion in the classroom: teacher expectation and pupils' intellectual development. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1968.

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Written for and published on ManMeetsKeyboard 27 July 2022